2/16/15
7/18/13
Sounds Frogical...
Princess meets Prince and lives happily ever after. Sounds like a totally logical way to break hearts, create emotional disorders, mess up society, dating, relationships, and marriage ideaology. Did that sound a bit too cynical?
But how can you help but not believe in fairytales, happiness and Last Unicorns when you are in the presence of a perfectly adorably and positively innocent little girl? Everything is new and magical to her daily, hourly, if not to the minute and second, which reminds me to be an awe-inspired kid again.
Everytime her mind is blown by a frog jumping or absolutely excited to sit on every "Dirb bike" in the Dirb Lab, I need to be excited as well. .... to sit on my Dirb bike. Hell, I need to be grateful to work on all these dirt bikes.
But most of all I am grateful for the two woman in my life who will always be in my heart, who will always offer that unconditional love of fairytale proportions that people all over the Earth are searching to find. From my dear mother Hazel Colleen who reminds me of the times I was a bright eyed kid, always offering her unwavering love and support , to my precious daughter Rosaline Jean who makes this old cynic feel like a kid again. To feel like the world can be shiny and bright and new again, to feel like a Princess is still out there looking for a frog like me. Until then I am quite content being everything in the world to this little Princess, as she is everything in the world to me.
4/23/13
Death and Taxes.
Two years ago this week I wrote a post aptly titled "The Wizard" during a time when I had to face some of lifes harder choices.... should I stay or should I go? Should I try to attempt an implausable feat?
It was April 2011 and I was uprooting my career, my friends, a business partnership, and my familiar day to day life, seemingly at the drop of a hat to try and start a new life. I searched for some form of guidance or a sign. Though when faced with uncertainty of whats next to come, I always find myself asking, "What would my big brother do?" This approach has led me to a rather interesting life, but a full and satisfying one.
April has easily won the title of "My least favorite of the 12 months." contest for 17 years running. And this April is really not getting any easier. I use to dread it and try to hide, maybe sometimes I still approach it that way.
What's April deal anyway? I mean, it starts off with a practical joke holiday, "April Fools day" the very 1st thing. Welcome to the party... what are you? In 8th grade still? Then, right smack in the middle of April is Tax day.... Super funny. But April to me will always be the anniversary of a period of time when my brother Elias and I hung out and got along, it was a fleeting moment, as he passed way before his time on April 27th 1996.
I took the way he did live his life and especially last days as my guiding light. 2 yrs ago I did drop everything and moved to Utah. I didn't know at the time, but the new life I would be starting was that of our daughter Rosaline Jean Black. I see a lot of her Uncle Elias in not only her appearance, but her personality and mannerisms. Most people would say they are mine, but where do you think I learned them from?
A few other reasons April is the shittiest Month. And if your wondering what month came runner up in "My least favorite of the 12 months." contest? the next in the alphabet... August.
It was April 2011 and I was uprooting my career, my friends, a business partnership, and my familiar day to day life, seemingly at the drop of a hat to try and start a new life. I searched for some form of guidance or a sign. Though when faced with uncertainty of whats next to come, I always find myself asking, "What would my big brother do?" This approach has led me to a rather interesting life, but a full and satisfying one.
April has easily won the title of "My least favorite of the 12 months." contest for 17 years running. And this April is really not getting any easier. I use to dread it and try to hide, maybe sometimes I still approach it that way.
What's April deal anyway? I mean, it starts off with a practical joke holiday, "April Fools day" the very 1st thing. Welcome to the party... what are you? In 8th grade still? Then, right smack in the middle of April is Tax day.... Super funny. But April to me will always be the anniversary of a period of time when my brother Elias and I hung out and got along, it was a fleeting moment, as he passed way before his time on April 27th 1996.
I took the way he did live his life and especially last days as my guiding light. 2 yrs ago I did drop everything and moved to Utah. I didn't know at the time, but the new life I would be starting was that of our daughter Rosaline Jean Black. I see a lot of her Uncle Elias in not only her appearance, but her personality and mannerisms. Most people would say they are mine, but where do you think I learned them from?
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| This ones for you Eli |
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| "In Memory of your Uncle Elias Black" |
A few other reasons April is the shittiest Month. And if your wondering what month came runner up in "My least favorite of the 12 months." contest? the next in the alphabet... August.
15 Historic Events That Prove April Is The Worst Month Ever
Start of The Civil War: April 12th 1861
Abraham Lincoln Shot: April 14th 1865
Hitler Born: April 20th 1889
San Francisco Earthquake: April 18th 1906
Titanic Sinks: April 15th 1912
Failed Bay of Pigs Invasion: April 20th 1961
Martin Luther King Jr. Assassinated: April 4th 1968
Chernobyl: April 26th 1986
Start of Bosnian War: April 4th 1992
Waco: April 19th 1993
Kurt Cobain Suicide: April 5th 1994
Oklahoma City Bombing: April 19th 1995
Columbine: April 20th 1999
Virginia Tech Shooting: April 16th 2007
BP Oil Spill Disaster: April 20th 2010
1/2/12
Year of the Dragon
So, we just had our American New Years, and I was quite ready to roll out a new year, a fresh start, and set some important goals I intend to make happen. It was a pretty low key event as we are now 31 weeks pregnant, but Kirsten and I were able to spend much needed quality time together starting with dinner New years eve at Gourmandise in downtown Salt Lake. We then went to a local grocery store and picked up some sparkling cider, a box of TNT poppers, some confetti poppers, some Champagne glasses ( for the sparkling cider) and finally some glittery 2012 party hats and Tiara's. We then went to the Cinema's with a $20 gift card, and watched "New Years" fittingly enough... and though it was pretty cliched, it was just what we needed to end 2011.
After our movie we had about 1.5 hrs till the ball dropped, so we went back to Kir's and opened up the 1st bottle of cider bubbly, while we attempted to hook up her laptop to the HDMI cable function on her TV. After .6 hours of messing with that and me downing over half of the fake fizzy stuff to myself we had successfully launched a browser to her TV, and googled the "Live" Times square ball drop. We eagerly started watching only to find that it was delayed oh, 5 hours... with no way to fast forward to the current time and synchronize it with Utah New years. So, about 15 minutes till New Years and we opted to take our party up to the buildings roof, where we once had a cupcake date and listened to music out of a shoe, and enjoyed a beautiful summers night. Now it was winter in Utah, and a lot more cold. We toughed it out as we sat and listened to neighboring buildings parties with apparently inebriated people shouting "Happy effin New Years" for a 10 minute span as our sober asses giggled at them from our roof top.
The next day we spent lazily laying around wondering what our beautiful baby girl was doing inside her mommies belly and realized that we had now reached 2012 and it was the year our daughter would come into the world ( thats right mom, I know it was a surprise).... according to Chinese New year, as a Dragon.
Here is what the Dragon's Lair currently looks like:
Here is what I look like wondering what my baby is wondering:
And this is how I want to spend all my time protecting her and her mom:
Happy New Years!
After our movie we had about 1.5 hrs till the ball dropped, so we went back to Kir's and opened up the 1st bottle of cider bubbly, while we attempted to hook up her laptop to the HDMI cable function on her TV. After .6 hours of messing with that and me downing over half of the fake fizzy stuff to myself we had successfully launched a browser to her TV, and googled the "Live" Times square ball drop. We eagerly started watching only to find that it was delayed oh, 5 hours... with no way to fast forward to the current time and synchronize it with Utah New years. So, about 15 minutes till New Years and we opted to take our party up to the buildings roof, where we once had a cupcake date and listened to music out of a shoe, and enjoyed a beautiful summers night. Now it was winter in Utah, and a lot more cold. We toughed it out as we sat and listened to neighboring buildings parties with apparently inebriated people shouting "Happy effin New Years" for a 10 minute span as our sober asses giggled at them from our roof top.
The next day we spent lazily laying around wondering what our beautiful baby girl was doing inside her mommies belly and realized that we had now reached 2012 and it was the year our daughter would come into the world ( thats right mom, I know it was a surprise).... according to Chinese New year, as a Dragon.
Here is what the Dragon's Lair currently looks like:
Here is what I look like wondering what my baby is wondering:
And this is how I want to spend all my time protecting her and her mom:
Happy New Years!
12/30/11
Silver and Gold.... and I suppose diamonds too.
I like good music. It comforts me. It motivates me. It is my companion on long lonely 10 hr drives in the middle of the night from Salt Lake City to Anthem AZ to drive a buddies car for $149 just to drop it off and catch another ride back to SLC in a 21 hr time period. Yeah, you need good music and lots of Red Bull for that.
My idea of good music is probably far different from yours, but you know it's good when words give you chills and the beat makes you slap your thigh as you drive and you don't even know that your doing it till half way through the song. It moves you... you absorb it. You relate to it like it was written for you specifically.
Before my drive I down loaded a album from City and Colour, "Little Hell" Which was my best decision I have had recently. It made me think a lot, ( not that my brain ever shuts off) trying to manage my hectic life, relationships, running a business, and preparing to have my 1st child in 2 short months. It made me think a lot about life and pecking orders of what the hell is ultimately important or not... social classes, self worth, happiness, others happiness. etc... One song in particular sums it all up, but then still leaves you in the unknown. Which at 31.71428 years old, I still find myself living day to day. Does anyone really know what they are doing? Just when I think I figure it out and am about to get the cheese another door or corridor leads me to a trap just like that crappy board game.
I am going to leave you with some amazing song lyrics for you to ponder upon:
Last night a dreamt that they dropped a bomb, oh the seas ran dry and the winds had calmed.
The skyscrapers fell and crumbled to dust, their skeletons of steel were covered in rust.
And everything I loved, and feared. Had all at once, disappeared.
The colors were drained, straight from the sky. And nothing living had survived.
Mountains were merely removed from the earth, and Silver and Gold, had lost all it's worth.
And everything I loved, and feared. Had all at once, disappeared.
Oh everything I loved, and feared. Had all at once, disappeared.
I woke from the dream in a cold, cold sweat. I was full of doubt, and deep regret.
For suddenly it was all so clear to me there was nothing left in which to believe.
And everything I loved, and feared. Had all at once, disappeared.
Oh everything I loved, and feared. Had all at once, disappeared.
I will be a father figure in 2 short months.
My idea of good music is probably far different from yours, but you know it's good when words give you chills and the beat makes you slap your thigh as you drive and you don't even know that your doing it till half way through the song. It moves you... you absorb it. You relate to it like it was written for you specifically.
Before my drive I down loaded a album from City and Colour, "Little Hell" Which was my best decision I have had recently. It made me think a lot, ( not that my brain ever shuts off) trying to manage my hectic life, relationships, running a business, and preparing to have my 1st child in 2 short months. It made me think a lot about life and pecking orders of what the hell is ultimately important or not... social classes, self worth, happiness, others happiness. etc... One song in particular sums it all up, but then still leaves you in the unknown. Which at 31.71428 years old, I still find myself living day to day. Does anyone really know what they are doing? Just when I think I figure it out and am about to get the cheese another door or corridor leads me to a trap just like that crappy board game.
I am going to leave you with some amazing song lyrics for you to ponder upon:
Last night a dreamt that they dropped a bomb, oh the seas ran dry and the winds had calmed.
The skyscrapers fell and crumbled to dust, their skeletons of steel were covered in rust.
And everything I loved, and feared. Had all at once, disappeared.
The colors were drained, straight from the sky. And nothing living had survived.
Mountains were merely removed from the earth, and Silver and Gold, had lost all it's worth.
And everything I loved, and feared. Had all at once, disappeared.
Oh everything I loved, and feared. Had all at once, disappeared.
I woke from the dream in a cold, cold sweat. I was full of doubt, and deep regret.
For suddenly it was all so clear to me there was nothing left in which to believe.
And everything I loved, and feared. Had all at once, disappeared.
Oh everything I loved, and feared. Had all at once, disappeared.
I will be a father figure in 2 short months.
10/11/11
Always a Uncle, never a Uncle Dad...
Isn't that how the old Appalachian proverb goes? In my 31 some years of life experience I have managed to escape pre-teen pregnancy, teen pregnancy, post- teen pregnancy, early onset adult fatherhood disorder, Maury Povich show paternity tests etc, etc....
I dodged the statistics or maybe the "statistics" dodged me, opting for other prospects to dive head first into the gene pool with. I couldn't swim so well ..... well, ever. So I waded around, can doggy paddle, float on my back, and even dive really well, like off stuff n things like cliffs, trees, n' docks & shit.
There is no lifeguard on duty in the gene pool, but that never stopped my friends from gettin busy in the Burger King bathroom, which leads me back to the beginning of my ramblings of being a "Uncle." I am not actually a certifiable Uncle, as I have no siblings that have spawned. But I have best friends with kids who affectionately coin me as "Uncle Jesse" with their young ones.... some have been calling me this since birth and may not know otherwise.... EVER. I have cherished this role, have taken much joy in seeing them grow, not having to change their diapers ( Editors note: I totally will for my kid) and teaching them to fish, ride bikes, or take them to dance.
I like to teach, to show my adopted nieces and nephews things I learned growing up outside the city. So, I couldn't help but always wonder what it would be like have a little being of my own...
I attempted to make it out of dirt and dust, then thought I could use a rib perhaps. Finally I found Kirsten, the perfect mate to pro-create. . . and pro's we are. I sorta feel bad having a child with such an amazing lady. I mean, she is so gorgeous, highly intellectual, and super funny..... mixed with... you know, stuff & qualities I possess, that other kids in our child's class don't stand a chance. We are being old fashioned and waiting till our baby is born to find out is it's a boy or a girl, one thing is for sure, whatever the gender it is sure to be Rad. So for now we call our precious "Radimus"
Overall I don't really have the words to say how excited I am to bring new life into the world with my chosen partner.... so I will let these pictures do the talking.
But, I am super pumped that I know who my babies momma is!
I dodged the statistics or maybe the "statistics" dodged me, opting for other prospects to dive head first into the gene pool with. I couldn't swim so well ..... well, ever. So I waded around, can doggy paddle, float on my back, and even dive really well, like off stuff n things like cliffs, trees, n' docks & shit.
There is no lifeguard on duty in the gene pool, but that never stopped my friends from gettin busy in the Burger King bathroom, which leads me back to the beginning of my ramblings of being a "Uncle." I am not actually a certifiable Uncle, as I have no siblings that have spawned. But I have best friends with kids who affectionately coin me as "Uncle Jesse" with their young ones.... some have been calling me this since birth and may not know otherwise.... EVER. I have cherished this role, have taken much joy in seeing them grow, not having to change their diapers ( Editors note: I totally will for my kid) and teaching them to fish, ride bikes, or take them to dance.
I like to teach, to show my adopted nieces and nephews things I learned growing up outside the city. So, I couldn't help but always wonder what it would be like have a little being of my own...
I attempted to make it out of dirt and dust, then thought I could use a rib perhaps. Finally I found Kirsten, the perfect mate to pro-create. . . and pro's we are. I sorta feel bad having a child with such an amazing lady. I mean, she is so gorgeous, highly intellectual, and super funny..... mixed with... you know, stuff & qualities I possess, that other kids in our child's class don't stand a chance. We are being old fashioned and waiting till our baby is born to find out is it's a boy or a girl, one thing is for sure, whatever the gender it is sure to be Rad. So for now we call our precious "Radimus"
Overall I don't really have the words to say how excited I am to bring new life into the world with my chosen partner.... so I will let these pictures do the talking.
But, I am super pumped that I know who my babies momma is!
4/28/11
The Wizard.
15 years ago I was a week away from my 16th birthday, which meant until the end of September I would only be 2 years younger than my older brother Elias. I looked up to him in a lot of ways and I remember feeling closer, cooler and not so little for 5 months. Then came April 27th 1996....the day my older brother stopped aging, a day so surreal that anything could hurt my hero, let alone take him away forever. We grew up in a double wide trailer on 20 acres in West Virginia, and like most older brothers he antagonized me relentlessly. One time when I was 3 he dumped a bucket of roofing tar on my head while we had crawled under the elevated chicken coop to play.... he exclaimed to my livid mother that I had asked him to do it. Being a redhead, I think he was jealous of my bright blonde hair, and obviously wanted them to cut it all off.
Our antics were not always one sided, as I remember him riding his Huffy down our Dirt road while speeding past kicking me. I found a branch about as thick and long as a broom stick and promptly speared it into his front spokes sending him end over end into the hard dirt. Another time while helping our dad build a tree house in the woods behind our trailer, Elias was chasing me around bullying me, until I picked up a 16 penny nail and chased him back.... I never did catch him, but in his frantic escape he tripped and took a sharp stick through his cheek earning him a couple of stitches in the process. Even better was the fact that school pictures were days later and his included his smiling face with a butterfly bandage front and center. My poor mother....
I also learned from my brother to follow my dreams, and not live life for what others "think" or what social norms may be. Elias was gifted with intelligence. He was always in honor classes throughout school, his peers jealous of how he didn't have to study for advanced Algebra 2 classes and still ace tests. He had a full state college scholarship offered to him upon graduating High school.... instead Elias chose to follow his passion of skiing, moved to Lake Tahoe with a handful of other ski bums, worked the night shift at 7-11 and searched for fresh powder runs during the day.
Unfortunately a knee injury ended his season and ability to continue his excellent journey. He came home in Late March of 1996, and for the first time of our lives, we got along. He took me around his friends, not as his younger brother, but as a cohort. A month later, 15 years ago was the last time I'd get that chance....
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